Idiots in Crocodile Farm

The Adventures of Fat minus thin, featuring Hanni, JackoWacko, Pree and Zeek Eru

(I do say that is one large teeth you have there Grandma)

Admist the buzzing city life of Singapore, enter Serangoon. Serangoon, oh Serangoon, people over the age of 50 look back and remember flats and rows of cemetries that used to occupy that area. So much so that Serangoon has became notoriously known as Cemetry HDB.

However due to redevelopment and all the other shit, the pile of god forbidden, forsaken pieces of cemetries have been removed to give rise to new HDB flats, shopping malls and a small neighbourhood. ZeekEru and Jacko Wacko who refuses to listen to this decided to give Fat a smack on the back of the head. Pree who supports anything supernatural should have given them a smack back :D

At last the cemetry land has turned into a small little entertainment center filled with lots of things to do. They even have an MRT and a bloody cinema.

Then you walked further down and find yourself travelling back into time when you see the Crocodile Farm.

How shall i describe the Crocodile farm?

The Crocodile farm was a british colonial styled building with Chinese upbringings. Built lavishly and stylishly in probably the 1960's, this house still stand, admist many terrace flats. It British Colonial style seem to fit in perfectly with its chinese upbringing.

Entering the Crocodile Farm you would feel like you have been transported back into time. Introducing, retro looking signs. (above). This sign makes you feel like you've been transported back into time, like maybe the 1970's, come on admit it, once you added lights around the lovely border, it becomes a blink board for some "prostitude" club in the 1970's. Except, this time, you're dining with Crocodiles.

Dinner is serve

I am now in Poly and because I am in there I have met loads of interesting people, whom I have become good freinds with. The Hanni with her usual green shirt is present, and well introducing Jacko Wacko, a Chinese girl whom studies the same course as me, energertic and loud, she plays basketball...she can also do weird things with her fingers, on which I would not eleborate. Then there is Pree, an Indian girl whom I met on the 3rd day of school, lost as I was then, we managed to collaborate and find the place we were looking for. Taking an interest in the Supernatural and naturally quiet but funny when she needs to, she's one of a kind. And then there is ZeekEru, a very loud and energectic and loud...and louder :D (You know Im joking) Malay girl. She loves K-pop, JackoWacko too, and would buy anything Shiny, opps I mean Shinnee. Well, yep these are the people who would be accompaning me today. Thin on the other hand couldn't make it. And I doubt she wants to visit Crocodiles.

Well, me and my multi racial group strode into the grounds to give you the latest updates of this small yet reptilian farm.

The first thing we saw when we walked past the retro looking sign was the Crocodile enclosures...well you can call it, children swimming pools. Just 5 meters deep, this long and narrow enclosure fits many Crocodiles of different species. Cept don't throw your children in there, wouldn't want those little hands and legs to become wine for the Crocs won't you :D

Introducing the Alligator...

This 4 meter long monster is an Alligator, notice its rounder snout, well yes, this fat nose of its makes it an Alligator. Don't ask me why an Alligator is different from a Crocodile, I don't know, he don't know, she don't know, God doesn't know, just suck it up and accept that if your swimming half way down a long river in America and just happen to get bitten by one of these things, just remember when your up there say you died because of an Alligator and not a Crocodile.

It would be embarrassing if you didn't know what killed you



Introducing Mr Caiman...



Opps, I mean Mrs Caiman. This married smaller version of a Crocodile, happen to be sun tanning and laying her eggs. Pree spotted it first and thought it was dead. ZeekEru beckons that thought and they both shrieked when the Croc move...or at least how I remembered it.

Caiman's are generally smaller than a Crocodile, though they happen to be the cause of most drowning cases in Africa. Don't let their small size fool you, this croc has enough power to drag you down into the water...and well kill you :D.


Though their endagered and when I say endagered I mean endagered. Turns out we killed more of them then they killed more of us.


Pls help save this crocodile, if you don't whoes going to get rid of all the irritating people.




And then the main star of today...Introducing Crocodile

Ha ha fooled you :D This is an Alligator, notice its rounded snout :D Spot the difference :D

So now here's the main star :D

This is the Crocodile, see Mr Crocodile :D yes see its sharp snout :D

Frankly we can't tell them apart.

We don't blame you if you don't.

Notice the small pens these Crocodiles are kept in, if you havent ring the association for animal abuse, pls don't ring it. Because if the word Crocodile FARM doesn't ring in your head then well I don't know what does.

So basically when we entered the Farm we saw all these wonderful Crocodiles kept in their small enclosures. We don't know whether to scream or just to run away. However Hanni, Jacko Wacko, Pree, ZeekEru and me are probably idiots.

We went close enough to the enclosure to take photoes with this magnificient creatures.

We had adventures in this small little farm, Jacko Wacko went around taking photoes of this beautiful picture. Hanni went around the back of a small enclousure and stupidely lead us all there. However we didn't know that it wasn't safe and just one wrong move could wind us dead. :D Guessed what happened.

We got our ass kicked by a lady I would now introduce... The yellow Ghost.

The Yellow Ghost is a 1.65 meter long lady who probably owns the place, yes she's fierce, yes she's real fierce, and we just ran when she scolded us.

Now after visiting the various Crocodile pens in their Various swimming pools and almost killing ourselves by taking photoes with these magnificient creatures we decided to take a look at the Crocodile shop. Oh did I mention they sell Crocodile Skins there.

Yes my Friends, Crocodile Skins. The best kinds, top quality, came from the pets they rear in the back yard. So we weren't suppose to take photos in this shop, But Jacko Wacko did it anyway. So we took...

and took...

and took...

and got caught :D

and then got chased out :D

Yes chased out my folks by the yellow lady.

So that was how our adventures ends...abruptedly...but hey we got to see the Crocodiles cooped up in their small enclosures, manage to get ourselves almost killed and well, managed to get ourselves a licence to kill...hypothethically.

History

Apparently, one guy named Mr Tan Gna Chua, decided to, "hey let's set up a crocodile farm..." just 60 years ago. He was an enterprising young chinese man who decided to start his farm in Upper Serangoon road. He started off with 10 crocs, the numbers grew, he killed them processed their skin for leather.

Oh, so that's where the leather came from. See that's why I said don't call SPCA.

So yeah, that's the history of Crocodile Farm... now if I had money, I would rather set up a lion farm in the middle of nowhere instead. The better the danger, the more customers isn't it.

Urban Legends

You know how you hear stories of Crocodiles prowling the water ways, meaning Drains in Singapore. Rejoice Ubran Legend finders, it is true. A few (20,30,40?) years back, some idiots manage to catch one of these Crocodiles in the drains...and well some Crocodiles in the past were known to walk the streets of Singapore.

So do these Crocs still live in the water ways, are they still there...would you wake up one morning to find a Crocodile snout coming out from your drainage hole. The possibility, close to zero, but you can never be sure.

If you ask me...I like to believe its true...but now with New Water and other shit, I doubt Singapore has any Crocodiles left. Unless well, maybe, the Crocodile Farm owners go mad and decides to release their Crocodiles into the drain.

Admit it, wouldn't that be just AWESOME.

not only would there be flash floods to worry about, we now have flash floods with Crocodiles :D I shiver in excitement when I think about it.

Location:

1. Take bus 80 or 81 from Serangoon Bus terminal

2. After 5 stops alight, and cross the road.

We got lost as we didn't see the Croc farm at first. Don't blame us...

It looked like some abandonned house.

So folks, if you enjoy this place...well we most certaintly did, I think...the please visit the Crocodile Farm. We urge students of all ages to enter, pls go, we beg you :D

P.S. Some folks love to live broken bits of metal wire there, so please wear shoes, your truly got scratch by one of those.

Ratings:

Tirng Level: 4/5 (far, very far)

Worth it: 3/5 (well its interestring, but if you meet the yellow ghost then no, we give you the license to kill)

Safe: 5/5 (unless you decide to take a swim with the Crocodiles :D)

Possibility of getting arrested: 0/5 (unless you have itchy hands and decide to throw stuff into the Crocodile pens)

Haunted: 0/5 (I don't know about Crocodiles with grudges for their lovely skin)

Possibility of it being abandonned: 0/5

So with all that said, we hope you kil-visit the Crocodile Farm and the yellow ghost.

and remember if its not occupied it probably abandonned :D

Idiots in Kranji War Memorial

The adventures of fat and thin (featuring Hanni) in Kranji war Memorial

(Ghost soldiers are not BF's, thank you very much)

Admist the buzzing city life of Singapore; there lies a spot very near the North that is both secluded and peaceful. A spot that takes us one and a half hours to reach, a spot people from the North can easily access, a spot that we, one way or another have visited. Its in the title folks and I'm sure you know it very well; yes my freinds, sisters and brothers...Kranji War Memorial.

As much as I want to write about the sadness of the war and how the trip was both a meaningful but sad one, I won't, why? The answer is simple, I suck at sob stories.

So, I shall start.

This my freinds is Kranji War Memorial, a secluded green plain with just a bit more tombstones than others. Yes, its a grave site and under this clean, green and neat filed are the bodies of a few thousand men buried under tons of dirt and covered with a nice patch of grass.

The place is calm and peaceful. It was a hot day when we visited and the skies were blue with a few clouds. Now, the first thing you see when you enter Kranji is not the headstones, no you don't see the rows of white clean heads stones no instead you see this.

These my freinds are the grave stones of the first two presidents of Singapore. The red marbled one belongs to Benjamin Henry Sheares and the other one belonged to the first and boys and girls we have all seen his face. Permantly planted on our everyday money is President Yusof Bin Ishak.

Standing before the graves of these important people, you can't help but think this; "Wow, even powerful people...die."

By the way Thin and I raced from President 2 grave to President 1 grave, it was quite tiring but guess who won...


I bet President 1 would be laughing in his grave right now.


After which, Fat got a stich at her side.


Hanni, our guest for this adveNture, walked :D, now this my freinds, this is the right way to behave in a mass grave. Behave respectfully and walk, do not play races in a graveyard.

After seeing the president grave you would be astounded by the many right rows of head stones that stand on a flat up hill green slope. Numerous, without pictures, with their army crest forever ungraved in the stones of the tombstone. This my freinds was the main attraction to Kranji War Memorial. The soldiers who have died.

Hanni, I and Thin passed along quietly and softly. Thin snapping pictures with her black camera and Hanni and I moving past the head stones viewing the people who died with solemn respect.

It was sad to see some headstones with no name and no age, somehow the unidentified bodies of a few young soldiers got to us and we were sad for a moment...until this happens...

Lizards, they were wonderful creatures...somehow they managed to make Thin scream like a maniac and Hanni laugh, so there we have it folks; our lack of graveyard ethique.



Lizards my freinds are one of the few animals you would see in this beautiful crafted mass graves. Another common animal is the crow and a few doves.


While strolling accross rolls of headstones, up slope you would eventually reach the center piece of Kranji War Memorial. A structure that is shaped like the wings of an air-plain and a chimmney of a War Ship. This is where the names of thousands of soldiers killed in action was carved into stone.

We viewed each slab of stones with solemn respect...that is until Thin decided to see if she can find her name on the slabs of stones and when I did this...

Again folks we lacked any form of graveyard eitheque and that was nothing to be proud off. In case you're wondering what is in the red book, I shall tell you now. They contain the names of the people carved in the slabs of stones and yes, Thin did not find her name.






After viewing the names of the thousand dead, one can't help but sit back and think, what happened to these people? Were they killed during action or were they blown up? So sitting dangerously on the edge of this structure, the three of us lesisurely stare up at the clear blue skies and the serene environment, lost in our own thoughts.




(this is Hanni)

After which we strode down the slope again and found comfort in sitting in a sheltered stone enclosure where we fooled around and performed numerous acts for our audiences of the dead.

(now, even spider man wouldn't do this)

History

I will not eleborate on the History of this place, the infomation could be found in your very own school text book and the website called Wikepedia

Urban Legends
It's a graveyard...what do you expect -_-

There a lots of stories regarding the place, 99% of it is as fake as Obama not being black. One story claims of a man walking into the cemetry during 7pm, which is considerably dark and he did happen to see a caucasian priest staring at him. This story is slightly credible...but the man put in so many ridiculous stories in front of his main "ghost" sighting that I hardly call it believeable, but if you are interested in his story; please feel free to look it up on SFOGS.

So, yes it a cemetry so, yes I would say you would be able to see somethings if you go at night or in the afternoon. We, however did not see anything strange, all we saw was Thin climbing, a few lizards and doves.

Now all I can say is...what was the man doing there at night?

He was obviusly asking for it -_-

Location

1. First take the MRT to Kranji

2. Then take bus 170

So...if you're free and if you want to have a taste of Singapore's War Time history, please feel free to drop by at this place. Would I say it was an enjoyable visit...well...it was so-so.

P.S. pls wear shoes when you get there, I got pricked by insufferable thorns again...I think there is a running gag in this.

Ratings (its upon 5 -_- pls dont ask me if its upon 1000)

Tiring level : 5 (very, no water, far distance, very)

Worth it: 3 (not too bad, not very awesome, a so-so)

safe: 5 (very safe)

Possibility of getting arrested: 0 ( unless you attempted the spider man move Thin did up there for fun then there is no you will get arrested)

Haunted: 2 (maybe, maybe not)

Possibility of it being abandonned: 0 (IT WAS NEVER ABANDONNED IN THE FIRST PLACE)

So with all that said, we hope that you would visit Kranji. If you are looking for a good relaxing place then Kranji is just the place for you. Sleeping there is not advisable though :D

Look forward to our next adventure (err...we shall decide) and remember if its not occupied, its probably abandonned :D

Idiots who couldn't get in!!!!

The adventures of fat and thin and we just couldn't get in!

(Shit the beep)

We went to Orchard, a crowded busy spot in the heart of Singapore. Not exactly the place we would like to go...we're not really into...yes, SHOPPING!

To clarify some things, Thin and I never shop when we go out together. Our hang out spots consist of three locations, The book store, the Libary or if we're feeling extremely adventurous, yes the whole of Singapore.

To prove my point, have you heard of CHIJ St Theresa, well, we have walked from there all the way to Bugis, the distance, more than a whooping 8 kilometers. Then of course I had to take the train back home. We did it in 3 hours by the way, if our parents found out about this, we'll be screwed so bad we won't know what hit our ***.

Ok, now on to the main reason why we are here. Yes, we went to Orchard to preview the Soong's sister house and to see if we can enter it through more normal means. So we went there and found that the main gate has been replaced with a new hardy looking gate. Of course, there were warning warning us not to enter. Thin and I wanted to climb over but it was broad daylight and we weren't in the mood of staying in a jail over night.

So we decided to circle around the condominuims that surround it and access it through the back gate. We walked...and walked...and walked...got lost, walked, access creepy alley, dead end, walked, got lost, cimbed awesome staircase located near drain; dead end, walked some more, walked a little bit more, manage to enter some old terrace house which looked yes incredibly awesome, walk a little bit more and more and well more until we have no idea where we were.

Just when Thin and I were about to lose all hope about finding the back gate. I spotted something, yes, the back part of the Soong's sisters house. However, the only way to access it was too tresspass into a condominium, climb 2 meters long green fence, fall into the Soong's sisters house at the height of about 3 meters. Were we willing to do that?

Well yes, what were you expecting. I inched foward and managed to slip pass the guard house, Thin followed me and we approach the green fence. After being scratch by a despicable thorn bush...(again with the thorns -_-) we manage to TOUCH the green fence.

Did we manage to climb it...no, why? Well because some bastard decided to alert the sercurity guard and we just got the hell out of there.

After all the trouble and all the shit we went through, Thin and I decided to give up for the day...thus this long essay above would explain to you why our trip to the Soong's Sister house would be delayed.

Would we try to enter again, YOU BETCHA, we're not that easily beaten.

If we have to order a helicopter and parachute our way in then WE WILL DO IT.

Anything is possible, failure is not acceptable, Obama has a phrase that describes this motto in three simple words: YES WE CAN!!!

and you betcha...we'll do it (once we raise 1000 dollars to get our butt out of jail)

Alkaff Mansion (and idiots)

The adventures of Fat and Thin and...well Alkaff( al-cafe) Mansion

coffee anyone?

Alkaff Mansion, a mansion long forgotten by the people of Singapore. Sitting tucked right in the middle of Telok Blangah Hill, it lays hidden underneath tons of thorny bushes. The only reason it was discovered (by Thin and me) was because of its highly beautiful master piece...the roof.

Now, seeing the picture above you may ask us, "Now what is so beautiful about this run down BRITISH COLONIAL STYLED building built in the 19TH CENTURY by the ALKAFF FAMILY who came from Indonesia?"

Did I explain enough?No?
Ok, ok for the benefit of the people who use their eyes instead of their minds, here's a picture of it in its prime.

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British Colonial Styled house: *nods*

Beautiful Grand fountain: *nods*

Golden old fashion lights for a romantic evening: *nods*

Alfresco dining: *nods*

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I dare you people to say your house is better looking than this house.

So now that I have convinced you that it was once that beautiful, you might now ask, how did THAT, turn into a run down abandoned place that could possibly be haunted.

History of the place:

-Man who owned the place: (Alkaff obviously you might say, but no his name goes like this)
Shaik Bin Abdul Rahman...then you insert an Alkaff somewhere.

-When was it built : 1852

-What was it use for: Tea parties and believe me the place is the kinda place you wanna hold tea parties at. Alice in Wonderland Setting anyone?

-From the 1980s to 2004, it was a restaurant after which it was abandoned.

Urban legends:

Apparently Alkaff used to be a restaurant in the 1980's in which there was an outdoor garden that allowed for couples to take a stroll after dinner. There is a rumor that a lady had seen (in her own words) "a very fast dash of white cloth" whom she claimed was a Pontianak. Before that, the lady had actually been warned by the security guard to "not take photos in this place because the owner would be very angry".The lady didn't heed his advice and did it. Is there a link? Did the owner know something about the place but more importantly, what was he trying to hide?

The credibility of this story cannot be verified but yes, that is one of the urban legend of the place. There's another story about a gray woman who resides in that area but again, the story cannot be verified.

To go straight to the point, the place is very beautiful and definitely not creepy at all if you visit it in the day. I highly suggest you don't visit it at night, not because of "clothy" ghosts that comes not only in the color white but in the color gray, but because of the thorns around the area and the decomposing steps.

The thorns are huge and the steps well, let's just say if you slip you would become the gray lady, and for boys, the gray transexual...wahahahaha
Is that place haunted? That reminds debatable but if you happen to see a "very fast dash of white cloth", it's probably your imagination or a very fast bunny or...just possibly...a very lovely white piece of curtain.









----> this equals that, highly likely :D

Getting there:


View My Saved Places in a larger map


1. From Harbour Front MRT Station, head north on Harbour Front Walk toward Telok Blangah Hill.
2.Take the first left on to Telok Blangah Road
3.Turn right at Henderson Road
4.Slight left at Telok Blangah Green (Destination will be on the right)
Credits: Google Maps

Now with all this said and with this much information given to you, what is stopping you from visiting this almost perfect place? Mosquitoes? The sun? The government? Fear?Well,these reasons are bogus, there is nothing that can stop you from visiting a place like this. The view is awesome, it's very accessible and extremely picturesque.

Ratings
Tiring level: 3
Worth it: 5
Safe: 3 (because of the thorns and steps)
Possibility of getting arrested: 4 (highly likely)
Haunted: 1 (a flash of white...panties...pfft)
Possibility of it remaining abandoned: 0 (it's going to get renovated so folks, what are you waiting for)

So yeah, that's that, we look forward to our next adventure (the Soong Sister's house)and remember if it's not occupied, its probably abandoned...and haunted :D

The idiots and the 3 places

If you people have been paying attention to the link, you would notice how long it is and probably curse it. I don't blame you, after all if you have a small mind, reading words so closely squeezed together wouldn't be too good for your brain either.

21 missions, 12 hours 2012 is probably the most innovative thing Fat and Thin have ever come up with. Notice that it is also the date for the end of the world. Why choose such a date, you may ask. Let's just say, if the world really ended then, this blog would be our contribution to the already half insane world.

So enough babbling and on with life.

Here are the first 3 places we're going to make a trip to.

1. Alkaff Mansion ( supposedly haunted) middle pic
2. Soong's Sisters House ( Haunted) left pic
3. Kranji War Memorial Cemetery ( peaceful...and haunted) right pic

Oh yeah did I mention that these places are all wonderful places, but yep, don't go there alone unless you wanna murder someone, you are the murderer's victim or...yes, you are a ghost.

That is all for today and remember if it's empty its abandoned...and haunted :D

Introduction (and idiots)

Welcome to this blog! If you're here, you're probably looking for abandoned places in Singapore or you just have no life. Admit it, half of us here on the Internet have no life which is why we're drawn to abandoned places, haunted spots and cemeteries in the first place.

Purpose

This blog was started to record our adventures to mysterious and abandoned places in Singapore. We have 21 missions and our date line-yes you guessed it- is the day the world ends. So if you're interested, join us and have an adventure in your own room while we, Fat and Thin, do all the hard work of trekking, cycling, walking, getting lost and lifting heavy cameras...or in certain cases, getting arrested. There is always that risk.

Get to know the 2 idiots
Fat- A typical idiot who resides on a tiny island called Singapore. The latter is a female, not a male. If you mistake her for a male, your tiny face would be pulverized into tiny little pieces (pls your face is already tiny enough, you don't need to make it even tinier). Yes, she lives in A plot of land and goes to B plot of school. She is 17 years old. Loves photography and the paranormal unknown. You can say she's an expert in anything haunted, try testing her knowledge with fake stories and photography and you'll be killed immediately :D

Thin- A typical reclusive idiot who resides in midair. She calls herself a martian and refuses to have any sort of link with the human race. She believes that she is here for a purpose but she has yet to find what that purpose is. She loves her stuffed animals and claims they are alive and have feelings. When she is not wasting time writing about herself, she can be seen talking to the swans in Botanic Garden, the lizards in the Armenian Church, or the cats in Mount Sophia.

Join us!
We are two teenagers who are sick of shopping malls and urban life. We're here to bring you the other side of Singapore, places that you would not typically go to, places that are haunted by past colonials and WW2. So be prepared for pictures, long essays and yes, the adventures of Fat and Thin (brought to you by Cathay Cinema 17 December 2010)

-Written by Fat and Edited by Thin